Hey Parents! Become a Pro at Saying No!
Life is hectic isn’t it? We seem to run, run and run some more, essentially, feeling as though we are accomplishing nothing. It’s like a cycle we run through every day, the rush before work to get everyone ready, fed, lunches made and to school or the sitters. Then there’s the rush during work to get to all the meetings, make the phone calls, answer emails and work on a project whose deadline is fast approaching. And, what about the rush after work to get everyone fed, to hockey practice, then home, unwound and ready for bed. Six hours of sleep later (if you’re lucky) and the cycle starts over. Well, it’s time you learned the power of no.
Implementing the word no once in a while won’t only buy you a little ‘me’ time, it will also alleviate some of the stress you carry on your shoulders. Here are a few ways you can start saying no today (or at least make life a little easier):
Before Work
The rush is on. Your alarm clock already goes off early enough, so there isn’t any more time bought. But, breakfast and lunch making don’t have to plow through your morning. If you can’t get up a half an hour earlier to enjoy some peace and quiet, try getting some help. Whether it’s a spouse or child, putting toast in the toaster or having everyone fend for themselves. Start saying no to being ‘miss molly maid’. You need a little time to prepare for that hectic day at the office as well.
When it comes to making lunches, if you can’t squeeze it in at night while the kids are in bed, have them help you in the morning. Keep snacks and juice boxes where they can reach them, while you prepare the sandwiches. Before you know it, lunch making has been cut it half. If they refuse and beg you to do it, tell them no. That little puppy dog look isn’t going to hurt them, and it’s only going to make you stronger.
During Work
Jimmy wants you to help him on his proposal again. Normally, you would put aside your own work to help him out, but today you’re going to nicely say no. While you would love to help Jimmy right away, tell him you have a project on the go and would love to reschedule for a time that is more convenient for both of you.
When it comes to meetings, make sure you need to attend them. If there are some that can be missed, do so. It doesn’t hurt to say no if you have something else going on in your schedule, just make sure you offer to get notes from someone who attended.
As far as emails and phone calls go, designate them for first thing in the morning or the very end of the day. Answering to either during the middle of a project will get you side tracked and off path. So, when your secretary wants to patch through Aunt Dorothy from Cincinnati, say no. Ask her to say your away from your desk, and leave the phone call for the end of the day. This way, when you phone back, you know you only have 10 minutes left and you have to jet out the door to pick the kids up from school. This way you can save most of your personal conversations for at home or during your kid’s hockey practice.
After Work
Although it’s the end of the day, sometimes it seems like the busiest part. To start, give the kids chores. Ask one to empty the dishwasher while the other sweeps the floor. Rotate tasks throughout the week so that they don’t get bored. Finally, while the kids are busy working away at their quick chores and homework, prepare supper. By saying no to all of the tiny tasks, you relieve some time and also don’t have it waiting for you on Saturday morning.
When the kids have after school activities they’re involved in, you can still say ‘no’. Next time little Tommy has baseball, take turns with your spouse or another parent driving the kids to practices. Just those few hours extra in a week are all you need to get in a little ‘me’ time. Whether it’s to enjoy a glass of wine, a television show you have missed or to snuggle up to the fire and read a book. You’d be surprised how much stress it can relieve.
As the night nears end and approaches bedtime, kids always beg to stay up later. This is definitely a time to say ‘no’. If they stay up, that takes away from the few moments of quiet you get to yourself or to share with your spouse. Plus it makes for some very grumpy children in the morning and even more disrupted start to your next day.
Saying no isn’t always easy, especially when it comes to your kids. But, throwing it into your vocabulary once in a while doesn’t hurt. I was once told to say no once a day and I would find life a little easier. Whether it was to a coworker, a stranger, a friend or a family member, that little two letter word can make a difference in how you live each and every day.
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"Gary Gzik is a Corporate Trainer and CEO of the business consulting company BizXcel Inc. which owns and operates Getting to Someday, a place where people go to achieve their goals and dreams.
Gary also wrote "The Orange Popsicle - Six Influential Lessons that will Inspire You to Change Your Life" and "The Power of RE - Recreate Your Life from the Inside-Out".
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