The True Enemies - Paranoia and Fear
If there is one thing I know about, it’s fear. It can manifest itself in many forms and it has different definitions depending on the situation. I choose to talk about this definition: fear; a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
Maybe you have been described as paranoid and the feeling of being afraid is part and parcel of that. You can also identify with this quote from Edmund Burke, “No passion so effectually robs the mind of its powers of acting and reasoning as fear.” Fear can drain you of all reason and logic and make you exhausted all the time.
If there is a door shut then the people behind it must be talking about you and you're afraid you will be fired. Whether the fear or the situation are real or not, doesn’t matter. Fear can work to conjure up many different situations and in your mind none of them ever end well. Something as simple as an entry in a calendar that has nothing to do with you, but that you think it somehow does, can turn your day upside down. As an example, the entry by your boss says “collect resumes”.
Not knowing of any reason that he or she would be doing that, you automatically assume you are being terminated and they are looking for your replacement – and it starts. You worry, sweat and feel sick and nervous. You pace the floor, call you friends, worry, wonder and walk on egg shells. Turns out it had nothing to do with you, but it was none of your business either. The fear was unwarranted.
Fear can lead to a number of unhealthy side effects if you let it. It consumes your every thought, you lose sleep, don’t eat well and basically become a walking time bomb just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Every mistake you make comes with fears attached to thoughts of how it will work out in the end. Are you the kind of person that says ‘what if’ a lot? Then you are talking out of fear.
Many counsellors have asked "what are you afraid of?” If, for example the situation is “I am having a hard time at work, and I think I might be let go. Am I paranoid?” The counsellor’s response about how to confront those fears is usually to envision and prepare for the worst. “Okay, so if that does happen, what would it look like? How bad would it be? How can you prepare? What can you do to respond to the challenge of looking for work?” Basically, confront your fears with a planned scenario, a plan B. The other option is to become confident in your role and give 100 per cent. If you are positive and send out the signal that you are there to stay, you can calm your own fears.
Of course everyone has their own way of confronting their fears. It requires confidence, courage, strength and a fighting attitude. Not all fears are imagined. I’m not sure you can ever really conquer every fear but if you face it head on you can move on with your life.
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"Gary Gzik is a Corporate Trainer and CEO of the business consulting company BizXcel Inc. which owns and operates Getting to Someday, a place where people go to achieve their goals and dreams.
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