Take It From Abe Lincoln - How To Be Happy

By Gary Gzik

Abraham Lincoln said that most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. The operative word is “mind.” The first thing to know about how to be happy is that it is a state of mind. If we control our minds, we control our happiness.

Mind control is one of the oldest topics on the planet. The trick to happiness is to create a situation where you are in control of your own mind, and nobody else. Who else would try to control your mind? Am I talking about flying saucers or nefarious government agencies? No. I’m talking about television, movies, advertising, magazines, and keeping up with the Joneses. These things show us images that we internalize. Then we imagine that we are not acceptable because we are not beautiful, our house is too small, we only have one car (or only two, only or five), or perhaps our children are not honors students. I know of one case where a teenager’s self-respect crashed because she was an honors student – overnight she went from attractive to geeky and her happiness was ruined.

This is what comes of putting standards outside ourselves. Standards belong in our own minds and nowhere else. Those infamous Joneses that we are trying to keep up with are themselves hypnotized by false notions of how to be happy.

What does create happiness? Helen Keller said, “Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves.” I have found this to be true. At times when I can’t be of any use to myself, it’s best if I go out and try to help somebody else. Perhaps it is easier to see the worth of another person’s life, to value their benefit more than we would if it were our own. In helping a neighbor or even a stranger, we create in our own minds an appreciation of improved circumstances. This leads to a state of mind of happiness.

Let’s have a look at some of those things that are indeed outside us and yet contribute to our happiness. The question of how to be happy in a capitalist society is simple to answer. Almost anything new can make us happy for a time – a new car, a new suit, a new gizmo (name your favorites). The trick is to be grateful for these things. The virtue of gratitude brings the essence of happiness inside our minds, where it rightfully belongs. The myriad things of our collective existence may fade and pass away, but the gratitude remains and continues to contribute to our happiness.

So long as we refuse to believe that our happiness can reside in a mere thing, but must reside inside our own minds, nourished by gratitude and service, we are following the right track for how to be happy and how to live in that mindful state.