To forgive or not to forgive...That is the question

When looking up the definition of forgiveness I found this: Forgiveness is defined as the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. I guess the easiest way to define forgiveness is to ‘decide to let it go and move on’.

Most world religions focus on the nature of forgiveness in their teachings. Some religious doctrines or philosophies place greater emphasis on the need for humans to find some sort of divine forgiveness for their own shortcomings, others place greater emphasis on the need for humans to practice forgiveness of one another, yet others make little or no distinction between human and divine forgiveness.

Here are some of my favourite quotes on forgiveness. Listen to what they have to say.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

-Mark Twain

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

-Mohandas Gandhi

All major religious traditions carry basically the same message, that is love, compassion and forgiveness the important thing is they should be part of our daily lives.

-Dalai Lama

Man has two great spiritual needs. One is for forgiveness. The other is for goodness.

-Billy Graham

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

-Josh Billings

Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.

-Marianne Williamson

Why the focus on forgiveness? I’ve been working with both a lot of different teams in a variety of different organizations over the past month. There is so much dysfunction in this day and age. Teams struggle getting along and performance is hampered because of this. I’ve noticed a real consistent pattern to much of this dysfunction and that is the inability for members to forgive where they feel they have been wronged. It almost appears easier to harbor the resentment and anger instead of focusing on better and brighter times. This destructive pattern also hampers personal growth. While taking a group through some personal growth training, the same struggles resurfaced again and again; the inability to forgive oneself and others to move on to a healthier and more productive time. This inability to forgive acts like an anchor to living more joyously and fulfilling more of our potential in life. You can’t build a healthy productive relationship with yourself or with others by not forgiving. It’s the pride and the emotion that gets in the way. The art of forgiveness starts with a courageous decision to do so. We all make mistakes. These are known as life lessons. But we can’t fully embrace these lessons until we have the conviction to forgive.

Give yourself permission to forgive. The new doors that can open up just might astound you. The weight off your shoulders will definitely make it easier for you to step through those doors.